12 Ways to Pray for Your Children
The following list enables you to concentrate your prayer efforts for your children. One suggested method for this list is to take one area a month and focus on that with your children. This will insure that you covered these significant issues in the course of a year. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS GIVE THANKS FOR YOUR CHILDREN. Include thanks in your prayers always. We need to come to value and honor our children as precious resources from the hand of God.
1. Pray that your children will come to trust Christ as their Savior and Lord early in life (2 Timothy 3:15).
2. Pray for your children’s safety….that God build a protective hedge about them….that they will be hedged in so that they can’t find their way to wrong people/places and wrong people can’t find their way to them (Hosea 2:6)
3. Pray that your children will avoid involvement with counterfeit Christian groups and occult practices….that they will know and embrace the real Christ. (Aberrant Christian groups and cults dilute and pervert the doctrine of Christ).
4. Pray that your children will grasp the truth of Gods word and the way of truth and avoid and renounce deception….that they will grow in knowledge of God and His will.
5. Pray that your children will learn to forgive others and receive forgiveness from others and from God, thus avoiding bitterness.
6. Pray that your children have submissive and respectful attitudes toward those in authority over them, renouncing any rebellion (1 Samuel 15:23). Pray that they would obey God – Parents – Teachers – Government – Church Leaders – Employers.
7. Pray that your children would be humble in their attitude toward God and others. Humility is confidence properly placed – an ability to see self in light of God’s nature and character….that they would avoid pride. Pride is a destructive force in your children’s lives. (Ephesians 6:10; James 4:6-10; 1 Peter 5:1-10; Pro 16:18).
8. Pray that your children will have a hatred for sin (Psalm 97:10)….that they will avoid temptation (I Corinthians10:13). and make no provision for the flesh (Romans 13:19). Pray that they will avoid the destruction of addictive habits in their lives (drugs, cigarettes and tobacco, alcohol etc)….that they be caught when guilty (Psalms 119:71) and come with a confessing attitude which receives forgiveness and results in righteousness (James 5:16; I John 1:9)….that they be protected from the evil one (John 17:5).
9. Pray that your children will have a responsible attitude in all their interpersonal relationships (Daniel 6:3)…that they would desire the right kind of friends and be protected from wrong friends (Proverbs 1:10,11)…that they would make wise choices while dating and that God would be preparing their mate by keeping them pure and keeping them in the way (2 Corinthians 6:14-17; 1 Corinthians 6:18-20).
10. Pray that they will recognize their position in Christ and as God’s children so that they have a proper perspective concerning their self-esteem. This will give them the strength to turn and God not be easily influenced by peer pressure.
11. Pray that their minds would be filled with good things (Philippians 4:8) and transformed by the renewing of their mind which will give them single-heartedness and a willingness to be sold out Jesus Christ (Rom. 12:1,2; 1 Corinthians 2:16). Pray that they take every thought captive and make it obedient to the Lordship of Christ (2 Corinthians 1:5).
12. Pray that they would fear the Lord (Proverbs 1:8) and trust the Lord (Proverbs 3:5). These principles will insure that your children make decisions based not on fear of circumstances and will not have irrational fear – but will be secure in their lives as a result of trusting God!
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Blogs I Read and Recommend
Friends I Read:
Dave DeVries at Missional Challenge
Friends I wish I had that I read
Michael Hyatt at Michael Hyatt | Intentional Leadership
Roy Williams at Monday Morning Memo
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Olive Grove Church
I have pastored Nuevo Community Church for the past 21 years. This year we are changing the name of the church to “Olive Grove Church.” The reason we are changing our name is not simply to be trendy but we feel the need to start a new chapter in the life of the church based on the following philosophy of ministry. I decided to put this on the blog for those of you who are presently a part of NCC to highlight our direction and give a foundation statement for the name change. For those of you not a part of NCC I would love to hear your thoughts.
In order to carry out our mission and purpose,
“Nuevo Community Church exists to glorify God by equipping the saints for the work of the ministry. The result is that every man, woman and child has the opportunity to hear and understand the Gospel and accept or reject Jesus as their personal Savior”
the following proposal and philosophy of ministry is presented for discussion, emendation, approval, and implementation.
The Scriptures often use the picture of trees, fields, harvest and fruit as the metaphor for both growth and community. The following is a short list:
- Psalm 1:3 He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.
- Jeremiah 17:8 “For he will be like a tree planted by the water, That extends its roots by a stream And will not fear when the heat comes; But its leaves will be green, And it will not be anxious in a year of drought Nor cease to yield fruit.
- Isaiah 44:4 And they will spring up among the grass Like poplars by streams of water.’
- John 15:5 “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.
- Galatians 5:22-23 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
This picture of organic growth is an important one for the purposes of the church. Can we make a jump from the metaphor to structure in the church without violating the sense of the text? An affirmative answer reveals an attractive model for personal and corporate growth and reproduction in the church context.
The Believer as a Tree and the Church as a Stream
The Bible often mixes its metaphors. I will take some liberties with this practice to try and paint a picture of church importance and structure.
The godly man is pictured as a tree growing by streams of water. The result is that the tree is strong and fruitful. Water in the Scriptures often signifies the ministry of the Holy Spirit. The believers proximity to the Spirit is the source of sustenance, strength and growth. The Holy Spirit’s main focus of ministry is not purely individualized, rather it is concentrated in the body of Christ, the church.
So the logical jump is the godly man grows when he is attached to the ministry of the Holy Spirit in His church. We believe this to be true and so our other ministry purpose statements reflect this:
“Nuevo Community Church exists to glorify God by equipping the saints for the spiritual service of worship. The result is that every man woman and child who is part of the church in Nuevo will be: Transformed by the renewing their mind; Fulfilling their purpose as a chosen vessel; Called to the praise of the glory of His grace; Cultivating a lifestyle and attitude that are filled with thankfulness.”
and
“Nuevo Community Church exists to glorify God by equipping the saints for the work of the ministry. Every man, woman and child who is part of the church in Nuevo will be conformed to the image of Christ and to: Attain to the unity of the faith and Arrive at maturity in Christ by growing in the knowledge of the Son of God.”
The method by which God has designed Christian growth is for the believer to be in active fellowship with His Spirit and His Body, the church.
The Church as a Tree and Stream
As we broaden our focus outward to the ministry and growth of the church, we have a choice. To continue with the model or to introduce a new one.
This is the discussion that the Elders of NCC have needed to have in light of the purchase of land and the possibility of growth: How will our growth be managed? What will it look like?
The typical growth model these days is to just get bigger in one location. Big churches are seen as healthy churches. So we have a Saddleback, Harvest, Revival, etc. Buying a large piece of property may have communicated to some that our growth model would be this particular one. But from the beginning I have tried to discourage that model. We spoke about a campus that housed ministry as opposed to simply being a large meeting place.
“According to the Hartford Institute for Religion Research, 94% of all existing churches have less than 500 attendees, and two-thirds of these have less than one hundred. Churches of more than two thousand attendees represent less than one half of one percent of all churches in America.”# This reality speaks to our own view of the future and seeing the value of the smaller church model as more reproducible, more likely to produce discipleship context and community, more likely to encourage initiative-style evangelism.
The philosophy proposed here is that church size and location should have primary geographic Great Commission responsibilities. The primary outreach focus of the local church should be an area within reasonable geographic reach of the main meeting place. In our case: Nuevo-Lakeview-Juniper Flats-Romoland- Perris. An approximate 5 mile radius is the target size.
As far as church size (this is not a dictum and there could be exceptions) it seems that 500-750 people provides a good limitation on the upper end. So the range of people is somewhere in the vicinity of 150-750 for the ideal functioning of a local church.
What is being proposed here is first the adoption of the mission of the local body at NCC to take primary responsibility for the gospel ministry in Nuevo. Second, the embracing the planting of churches to form a “grove” of churches. Our growth and focus is never limited in the Bible to simply our immediate neighborhood; Jerusalem formed a center that led to the uttermost parts of the earth. And so we desire to be global in focus. But we also want to reach our Judea and Samaria. In fact, the vision encompasses a network of Olive Grove Church sites throughout the 215/60/15 corridor and triangle. These Churches that would take primary responsibility for their 5 mile radius.
Our perennial problem is implementation. I am proposing that we spend a good percentage of our energy as a church and board to putting feet to this proposal.
What’s next? The who, what, where, and why questions need to be augmented by the how and when.
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6 Steps to Freedom; 6 Patterns of Bondage
Steps to Freedom
- To Recognize is to admit that something needs to change
- To Repent is to identify destructive thought patterns that bind you to sin, renounce them by identifying them as lies
- To Renew is to adopt a new way of thinking
- To Replace is to exchange old behaviors with new ones
- To Reveal means to tell a trusted friend or mentor
Patterns of Bondage
- Rationalize bad behavior as normative, or blame others, or make the behavior extreme and unchangeable
- Continue in rebellion to what you know is right
- Habitualize your rebellion until it becomes a rut (addiction)
- Return to the same destructive patterns of behavior after repeated attempts to change
- Repeat the process
- Reject recognizing that the problem is yours and changeable.
| Freedom | Bondage |
|---|---|
| Recognize | Rationalize |
| Repent | Rebel |
| Renew | Rut |
| Replace | Return |
| Repeat | Repeat |
| Reveal | Reject/Refuse |
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When He Became Strong…
Maybe one of the most tragic verses in the entire Bible is 2 Chronicles 26:16:
“But when he became strong, his heart was so proud that he acted corruptly, and he was unfaithful to the LORD his God…”
This verse was written about King Uzziah who was the king of Israel between 787 and 735 BC. Isaiah the prophet was a contemporary of Uzziah’s. God had just “helped” (2 Chronicles 26:7) him in his battles against his enemies and Uzziah proved victorious to the point that the passage describes him in this way:
“Hence his fame spread afar, for he was marvelously helped until he was strong.”
That description is then followed by the fateful description in verse 16:
“But when he became strong, his heart was so proud that he acted corruptly, and he was unfaithful to the LORD his God…”
Notice a few things:
1. God made him strong. Our source of strength and our provision is God. One of the most presumptuous sins of humanity is taking credit for what is rightly due to God. What is responsible for your personal success in life? Is it your brains, strength, common sense, perseverance, vision, opportunism, good fortune? Whichever choice you responded to, it came from God. God made you smart. God made you strong. God gave you common sense. God supplied the vision, perseverance. Whatever you call luck, is really the smile of God upon you. God gave Uzziah the victory over the armies of the Philistines, the Arabians and the Meunites (whoever they were). Who is responsible for your personal success in life, your blessings? Uzziah’s fatal mistake was not giving God the credit for his fame. Do you recognize how blessed you are? Do you recognize where those blessings came from? Psalm 3:5 says: “I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustains me.” And you thought you did that all by yourself, didn’t you?
2. His heart was so proud. His second mistake flows from the first but is not a necessary jump. (There are other second options, a subject for another blog). Uzziah took personal credit for his strength and for his fame. This is the “god-complex.” Uzziah was master of his domain. He ruled the roost, he was the man. God prospered him and he took credit for it. His heart became proud. Proverbs tells us to watch over our hearts with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. Jesus says that out of the heart flows the stuff of defilement (Steve’s version of Mark 7:14-21), that is why we need renewal and rebirth. The issues of the heart cannot be ignored, they cannot be stifled or controlled. What is the status of your heart? Interestingly enough, the Spirit knows your heart. Isn’t it time to have a tune up of the heart, to make sure it is firing with the Spirit? There is a great line from a hymn that calls us to “tune our hearts.” A humble heart is ready to admit that God is in control.
3. Uzziah acted corruptly, and he was unfaithful to the Lord his God. Do you know what horrific act Uzziah committed that is described in the text? He went to the temple to burn incense to God! On the surface it seems so innocuous. So benign. But it wasn’t. He was not authorized to do what he did. He wanted to not only usurp the place of God, he wanted to usurp the law of God, the temple of God and the priests of God. He was so full of himself that he only saw his own desire. Doesn’t that sound familiar? The resultant act that flowed from the pride was almost irrelevant – it is expressed in so many ways. We can be totally out of God’s favor even in church. You see God is not interested in the outer show, he is interested in the internal demeanor. Is your heart on its knees before God? I don’t know, only you and God know.
Uzziah was king for 52 years. He became king when he was 16 years old. He is characterized as a king who did right, he sought God and God prospered him. Then this event at the end of his life tarnished his reputation. God “smote” him with leprosy and a leper he died, and he is remembered for being a “leper.” What a tragic ending.
There is another way for you to write this verse and I hope this is the description of your life – something worth putting on a grave marker:
“But when he became strong, his heart was so humbled that he acted righteously, and he was faithful to the LORD his God.”
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A Marine Wedding
I get to do weddings. It is a distinct and unique privilege of pastoring. Now if you know me, I try to maintain a facade of dispassionate “manhood.” But really, I am a sap. My niece Katie was married yesterday, and I “got” to perform the ceremony. She married a Marine (in a marina). I want to share one of the moments from the wedding. During the wedding message I try to “explode” the vows into specific bullet points. What exactly are you promising when you say “I do”. Here are the points:
“Andrew, here is your plan, plain and simple. Your mission today is to commit yourself to Katie. That means you are going to love her, specifically as Christ loved the church. You are going to follow Christ’s example in your mission to love Katie. Here is the best I can do to describe it to you:
- You are going to regard her as more important than you regard yourself.
- You are going to consider her needs more important than your own.
- You are going to serve her instead of expecting her to serve you.
- You are going to pay attention to her every need.
- You are going to think about her above everything else, and see what even she doesn’t see about the things that are important to her.
- You are going to beat her to the punch, before she asks you are going to have thought of exactly what she was going to ask
- You are going to make her look good.
- You are going to cover her weakness with your strength.
- You are going to love her more than you love your own body.
- If necessary, you will die for her.
- You are going to take Katie to God in prayer on a regular basis, thanking God for her and asking him to bless her and make her in to the most beautiful woman on the planet in every way, emotionally, physically, spiritually and otherwise.
- You are going to lead the way to Jesus in this relationship, because it is the goal of every believer to be like him in every way.”
Now what you need to know about this particular Marine is that as I was going through these bullet points, he was responding to every one, just loud enough for Katie to hear, but not loud enough for anyone else to hear. So it sounded like this:
Me: ”You are going to regard her as more important than you regard yourself.” Andrew: ”Done” Me: You are going to consider her needs more important than your own. Andrew: ”Done” Me: You are going to serve her instead of expecting her to serve you. Andrew: ”Done” Me: You are going to pay attention to her every need. Andrew: ”Already Done” Me: You are going to think about her above everything else, and see what even she doesn’t see about the things that are important to her Andrew: ”Done” Me: You are going to beat her to the punch, before she asks you are going to have thought of exactly what she was going to ask Andrew: ”Done” Me: You are going to make her look good Andrew: ”Done” Me: You are going to cover her weakness with your strength Andrew: ”Done” Me: You are going to love her more than you love your own body Andrew: ”Done” Me: If necessary, you will die for her Andrew: ”Done” Me: You are going to take Katie to God in prayer on a regular basis, thanking God for her and asking him to bless her and make her in to the most beautiful woman on the planet in every way, emotionally, physically, spiritually and otherwise. Andrew: ”Done” Me: You are going to lead the way to Jesus in this relationship, because it is the goal of every believer to be like him in every way Andrew: ”Done”Now I have to tell you, I have been doing this long enough that not much surprises me anymore. But his affirmations expressed with such confidence and private intimacy in that very public setting overwhelmed me. When I got to the prayer statement, I had an emotional moment. It was powerful.
Take a moment to recall your vow to love your spouse. Imagine the surety of the promise that you made and renew it. I was impressed by Andrew and in that moment was reminded of the covenant promises of Christ to us. Thanks Andrew for reminding this old guy of the power of covenant promises.
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Lost Phrases
There are natural changes that come in life, some are good and some are bad. There are a few phrases that have gone out of vogue that need to make a comeback into our vocabulary:
“That’s none of your business”
Everything is now public, except of course what is done in Las Vegas…unless you are on Facebook. On Facebook it seems, everything is public. Social networking is a fascinating development in that we have a running first hand commentary on the interests, likes, dislikes and behavior of people. I vote that we reinstate the phrase “that’s none of your business” back into our corporate psyche. It would impact us in two ways:
First, we would be spared some of the more inane and inappropriate details of your life, as it is none of my business what you do in your bedroom, bathroom or private party.
Second, and more seriously, it will impact our relationships and conversations. As a pastor I have had many people confide in me. It is a discipline, skill, and obligation for me to learn to keep things to myself. I am often surprised to find out how many people thing that my wife knows what people tell me in confidence. She doesn’t, “it’s none of her business.” I have told people in my office that I would not tell others what they said because it is their story to tell. I might encourage them to tell it, but I don’t.
With children this is a great phrase. It is amazing how many people think they are obligated to share inappropriate details with their children. In parenting, “it’s none of your business” is a great phrase to keep in mind, not just saying the words to them when appropriate, but having certain conversations outside of their ear-shot.
So many conversations would be better if we adopted this marvelous phrase.
We need a good dose of “none of your business,” not only on Facebook, but in all areas of life.
“You’ll have to take that up with….”
This corollary of “That’s none of your business” helps to communicate with other people that the conversation they are trying to have with you is misplaced. This phrase is a good “stopper” for gossip. It draws a boundary that directs back to the subject, as in the topic of conversation.
I find that most people have no desire to draw these people-subject boundaries. Since we have lost the art of confrontation, it is much easier to vent with a third-party. This venting serves the purpose of letting off steam, expressing the anger that we might have, and possibly gaining an ally in our battle with another person. None of these things leads to a reconciliation that needs to occur.
We do one another a favor when we recognize this behavior and redirect the person back to the source by saying “you’ll have to take that up with…”
Practice these two phrases, it makes you a better human and you will make the world a better place.
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Steve’s Five Points
Steve’s Five Points
(originally Wally’s 5 points, but nobody* knows Wally)
The following 5 points are the essential characteristics of healthy church life.
- Exegetical Preaching. The preaching of the church must be based upon God’s Word and the purpose of preaching is to explain a particular text of Scripture - 2 Timothy 4:2
- Genuine Expression of Worship. The church must display genuine worship which points people toward the Creator – John 4:21-24.
- Emphasis on helping people to share their faith. Personal evangelism must be a high priority for the local church -Matthew 28:18-20; Colossians 1:28; 1 Peter 2:9.
- Servanthood. the church must accept all people and truly care for them. An attitude of putting others first and serving Jesus Christ is emphasized - Philippians 2:1-11.
- Love people rather than use them. We want everyone to reach their full potential in Christ and we want to avoid using people to reach our own ends – John 15:12-17.
*”nobody” meaning nobody in Nuevo where I currently pastor. No disrespect to Wally Norling (May 4, 1925–April 26, 2010) who was the District Superintendent of the Southwestern District of the Evangelical Free Church from 1966 to 1992. He was responsible for planting over 35 churches during that time and these are “his” five points as communicated to me when I served in the Evangelical Free Church from 1985-1991.
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Parenting With the End in Mind
Parenting is leadership. As such, parenting is a forward-looking enterprise. Like every forward-looking enterprise there are day-to-day elements governed by long-term objectives. Most parents fail in seeing themselves as leaders who plan according to future goals, or their goals are reactive and fear driven. When you are driven by fear you make statements about the future governed by those fears: ”I just want to my daughter through high school drug free and not pregnant.” Not the best strategy.
A good end for parents to have in mind for their children is giving them a commission. We had a ceremony that we held on the 18th birthday of each of our sons. We bought each of them a signet ring like my wedding ring as a reminder of their identity. We blessed them and celebrated their future. We prayed for them and pointed them to their future. This was our end: a send off. We did it with joy and confidence. It wasn’t relief to be rid of them, it was celebration of a job well done.
In order to do this effectively we had to be intentional in our parenting. We couldn’t afford to simply react and let the events of life guide our parenting, we had to carry out a process to reach our desired end. It is simpler than it sounds, but it does take initiative and planning. Here are the building block stages.
First: Healthy Individuals
A leader, by definition, will be someone who is healthy. When you travel by plane you have to endure the safety spiel which includes instructions on loss of pressure in the cabin and the need for oxygen. Oxygen masks will fall from the overhead area for each passenger. If you have small children, you put the mask on yourself first, then the child. This is a universal principle, not just a principle for oxygen masks.
A parent must take care to be healthy emotionally, relationally, physically and spiritually. If you are not healthy you will not be able to model health for my your children and they end up confused. They receive a mixed message which translates ultimately into: adults don’t have to abide by the laws/rules and when I grow up I can stop as well.
Second: a Cohesive Marriage.
Parenting is the product of the passing on of identity to children. Fragmentation in marriage makes parenting a difficult task. The old adage “the best thing you can do for your children is love their mother/father” is true. When a marriage is on track, children get to see what a healthy interaction looks like. In our case (4 sons) they were able to see how a man treats a woman and what a healthy woman looks like. When there is agreement in the values arena there is strength and longevity. Common values make for a strong marriage. This strength is the foundation in parenting.
Third: a Clear Plan Based on Common Values.
Parenting is the passing on of values to children. People often tell my wife and I that we are lucky. We bristle at that remark on two levels. It assumes parenting that gets good results is simply a matter of chance. Second it disregards all the work and sacrifice put into the parenting process. We had a plan and we worked diligently to carry out the plan. Our core values that we desired to plant in our sons were: Security and Confidence (corollaries and results of faith and trust); a clear sense of heritage and identity; a strong sense of purpose and direction.
Parenting is proactive and begins with the end in mind. Take care of yourself, your marriage, and work your plan.
My name is Steve Bagdanov and I am the High Priest of the Temple. Thanks for visiting. I invite you to stay awhile, browse the Categories and many articles on a variety of topics, 
