Category Archives: Marriage

A Marine Wedding

 I get to do weddings. It is a distinct and unique privilege of  pastoring.  Now if you know me, I try to maintain a facade of dispassionate “manhood.”  But really, I am a sap. My niece Katie was married yesterday, and I “got” to perform the ceremony.  She married a Marine (in a marina).  I want to share one of the moments from the wedding.  During the wedding message I try to “explode” the vows into specific bullet points.  What exactly are you promising when you say “I do”.  Here are the points:

“Andrew, here is your plan, plain and simple. Your mission today is to commit yourself to Katie. That means you are going to love her, specifically as Christ loved the church. You are going to follow Christ’s example in your mission to love Katie. Here is the best I can do to describe it to you:

  • You are going to regard her as more important than you regard yourself.
  • You are going to consider her needs more important than your own.
  • You are going to serve her instead of expecting her to serve you.
  • You are going to pay attention to her every need.
  • You are going to think about her above everything else, and see what even she doesn’t see about the things that are important to her.
  • You are going to beat her to the punch, before she asks you are going to have thought of exactly what she was going to ask
  • You are going to make her look good.
  • You are going to cover her weakness with your strength.
  • You are going to love her more than you love your own body.
  • If necessary, you will die for her.
  • You are going to take Katie to God in prayer on a regular basis, thanking God for her and asking him to bless her and make her in to the most beautiful woman on the planet in every way, emotionally, physically, spiritually and otherwise.
  • You are going to lead the way to Jesus in this relationship, because it is the goal of every believer to be like him in every way.”

Now what you need to know about this particular Marine is that as I was going through these bullet points, he was responding to every one, just loud enough for Katie to hear, but not loud enough for anyone else to hear.  So it sounded like this:

Me:  “You are going to regard her as more important than you regard yourself.”
Andrew:  “Done”
Me: You are going to consider her needs more important than your own.
Andrew:  “Done”
Me: You are going to serve her instead of expecting her to serve you.
Andrew:  “Done”
Me: You are going to pay attention to her every need.
Andrew:  “Already Done”
Me: You are going to think about her above everything else, and see what even she doesn’t see about the things that are important to her
Andrew:  “Done”
Me: You are going to beat her to the punch, before she asks you are going to have thought of exactly what she was going to ask
Andrew:  “Done”
Me: You are going to make her look good
Andrew:  “Done”
Me: You are going to cover her weakness with your strength
Andrew:  “Done”
Me: You are going to love her more than you love your own body
Andrew:  “Done”
Me: If necessary, you will die for her
Andrew:  “Done”
Me: You are going to take Katie to God in prayer on a regular basis, thanking God for her and asking him to bless her and make her in to the most beautiful woman on the planet in every way, emotionally, physically, spiritually and otherwise.
Andrew:  “Done”
Me: You are going to lead the way to Jesus in this relationship, because it is the goal of every believer to be like him in every way
Andrew:  “Done”

Now I have to tell you, I have been doing this long enough that not much surprises me anymore. But his affirmations expressed with such confidence and private intimacy in that very public setting overwhelmed me.  When I got to  the prayer statement, I had an emotional moment.  It was powerful.

Take a moment to recall your vow to love your spouse.  Imagine the surety of the promise that you made and renew it.  I was impressed by Andrew and in that moment was reminded of the covenant promises of Christ to us.  Thanks Andrew for reminding this old guy of the power of covenant promises.

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Hit a Home Run with Your Wife

 This isn’t hard, nor was it expensive – but this will be a hit at home, I guarantee it. My wife was recently out-of-town for a few days and I wanted to welcome her home.

This coming home table cost me $14.96 and took me less than a half hour, but the response was the proverbial “priceless.”

What you have here is a bag of m&m’s, chocolate covered raisins (her favorites) spread over the table in a random fashion; tulips purchased at Super Target for $9.99 (roses from a florist can be overpriced and over-rated), and a plate of cookies on a “You are Special Today” plate we had at home.  Now, if you are an expert like I am, you can bake your own cookies (chocolate chip) and steal your wife’s heart-shaped cookie cutters and cut them into heart shapes after baking.  No need to worry if you aren’t metro-sexual and handy in the kitchen, just go to Panera Bread(or anywhere they sell fresh-baked cookies) and skip the baking.  Baking your own gets huge points though.  Cutting into heart shapes is also optional, but those kind of “feminine” details really make the women swoon.

A little effort like this on a regular basis can make huge deposits into your emotional bank account with your wife.

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